On September 14, I will be interviewed by an immigration official and provided I pass, I will become a citizen of United States of America. I got the letter a few weeks ago. And it got me thinking of the experience of becoming a citizen for the different people in my family, and how it is so different for people who are so close.
I got an interesting feeling I saw the letter. All of a sudden what in my mind seemed like a complicated process, a barrier that for some reason seemed so close, yet so far away, was finally concrete. Right there on the paper.
The things is that no matter how little or big your accent is, at one point or another, you are still legally an outsider until you’re a citizen. And as you can see from my previous posts, I was reminded of that fact in a number of airports around the world. The funniest thing is that of all the benefits that US citizenship grants, first thing I thought about is how much easier my life will be crossing borders.The second was that I will be legally able to apply for jobs with the government.
My mom sees the biggest benefit of citizenship in the fact that she will be able to go back home and live her retirement there in peace and in a restful atmosphere without worrying about being a refugee if anything (god forbid) would happen again. There is always that leering caution - just in case. US evacuates their own citizens first.
My dad…he’s an entirely different story. Too complicated to even begin to explain. Let’s just say that his is a substantial life experience. My dad sees the benefit of citizenship in getting a choice between going back home and staying here. Once I’m a citizen, my dad says, if that kid (my brother) wants to come here, then I would stay here and buy a small farm in Texas, get a horse, and enjoy. My dad wants to live the way he lived back when he was growing up in the country side. He was working as a truck driver for a few years all over the United States, and he says that Herzegovina (where we lived) is just like Texas.
For my brother, he is living in Bosnia now, and goes to a university there. He’s been living alone in Bosnia since 2003, and is not looking to get US citizenship. When my parents become citizens, he’d like to come vacation and visit, but not to live permanently. He doesn’t have a bad life, he’s a full-time student, financed by my father, and playing big shot in Sarajevo. Anyway….I’m not bitter.
One thing that connects all of us is the utterly unimaginable route our lives took. Our lives were different before the war. We have a collective “day”. And we are all seeing benefits of the citizenship in terms of how it directly and concretly impacts our daily lives. Even though unspoken, all of us respect the US.
Ultimately, what you are reading is one of the reasons why I want to be a citizen - to be able to tell stories. It would be the closest I would come to feeling like I actually belong in a way similar to way I feel for Bosnia. The best way to explain how I feel is to say that no matter the distance, no matter anything, I laugh more from the heart whenever I’m around Bosnians. I must say I’m getting much better in American idioms, so I am getting closer to that feeling with Americans. Actually, it’s the Bosnian humor that gets lost on Americans sometimes. But, that’s another story.
